三人同舟
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.
"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三位男子在公園的長椅上坐着。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。
一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。
“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”
“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裏弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接着就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。
As If Awakening From A Dream
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "
A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒爲主題的演講比賽正在進行，一個演講者動情地說：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關係，甚至導致妻子離開自己的丈夫……”
這時一個男人大聲喊：“再來一瓶白蘭地!”
The ability of the Kangaroo 袋鼠的能力
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"
"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
動物園爲剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的.八英尺高的圍牆。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍牆外面蹦跳着。於是圍牆高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍牆高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認爲他們會把圍牆建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開着大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
什麼叫叛徒?
Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?” Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?” Father：“A convert，my son.”
有希望的青年人：“父親，什麼叫政治叛徒?” 父親(一位老資格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個黨的人。” 有希望的青年人：“那麼，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什麼呢?” 父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”
馬克·吐溫
On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being lacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.
有一次，馬克·吐溫從紐約起程抵達倫敦訪問，《星報》認爲這個消息值得登在它的晚招貼上。但是，還有一條消息也要登上：關於愛斯科杯被盜的消息。招貼是這樣寫的： 馬克·吐溫 光臨 愛斯科杯 被盜 我們相信，馬克·吐溫從來也沒聽說過這件事。