英語笑話1：
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
這裏想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的'話，千萬別進退休社區。因爲那裏人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，擡東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的幹吧。”
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉爲什麼那麼紅?
弗雷迪：我剛纔在大街上跑，爲的是阻止一次打架?
媽媽：你做的對，誰和誰在打架。
弗雷迪：我和傑克·史密斯。
英語笑話2：
有個人不小心撞了一個外國人。
他：I'm sorry
外:I'm sorry ,too.
他:I'm sorry ,three
外:What are you sorry for ?
他:I'm sorry ,five.
相當簡單~