更多更好玩的英語笑話，盡在本站。
Boss's idea
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."
由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。
他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試着清理。
當時我真的.被他的話感動了，就問他：“你們老闆知道你這樣拒絕生意麼?”
“事實上，這就是我們老闆的主意，”僱員答道：“因爲如果我們讓用戶先自行修理打印機的話就能掙更多的錢。”
誰欠誰錢
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閒逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店裏偷了塊肉，我有權利從狗的主人那裏要回損失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店裏頭了塊肉”，律師什麼都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開郵箱，發現一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：諮詢費250美元。
婚禮上有長官在
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我……”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。”幾小時後，警察向監獄裏看了看說道“算你運氣好，因爲我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶着一個愉快的心情回來的。”“你確定”在牢房裏的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。