愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，那麼你喜歡笑麼?這裏收集整理了好些搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑精選，一起來看看吧!說不定能點中你的笑血哦!
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑精選一
Charity Begins at Home
慈善應由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitableorganization of which he was a member.
山姆，希德尼正挨家挨戶推銷他所屬的一家慈善機構的彩券以籌募基金。
One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
有一天早上他敲了蘇利文太太的門。
"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" saidSam.
“您早!蘇利文太太，我是代表南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會的。”
"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.
“你說什麼啊?，’老太太大聲問道。
"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIALSOCIETY ! "
“我說我正爲南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會賣彩券!”
"Eh?"
“哦?”
"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "
“彩券!南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”
"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.
“你應當說大聲點，年輕人，喃喃低語是沒用的。”
"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!去你的，蘇利文太太!”山姆離開時屏氣說。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and SocialSociety. "
蘇利文太太關門說道： “去你媽的，南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑精選二
What is the bad news?
壞消息呢?
A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results. "Well Mr. Jones, I have some good news& some bad news for you. The good news is that you have only 24hrs to live. "That's thegood news?" wails Jones, "What is the bad news?" The Doctor gives a sheepish grin and says, "I should have told you yesterday!!!"
小夥子去醫院詢問診斷結果。“瓊斯先生，我要告訴你一個好消息和一個壞消息，好消息是你只能活24小時了。”“這是好消息?”瓊斯慘叫了一聲，“那麼壞消息呢?”醫生苦笑一聲：“我應該昨天告訴你這些的.。”
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑精選三
Be kind to animals
愛護動物
The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with threeiguanas, but when the man ordered four hamburgers with fries, the owner complied with ashrug.
有個人牽了三隻大蜥蜴走進一家漢堡店，老闆嚇了一跳。接着他點了四份漢堡和薯條，老闆聳聳肩答應了他的要求.
The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.
那個老兄和他的蜥蜴享受過晚餐後便離開了。
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.
第二天，那個人帶了兩隻袋鼠，又點了相同的東西。
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the ownercouldn't help making a remark.
第三天，他帶了兩隻紅毛猩猩和一隻黑猩猩。
"You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.
老闆實在忍不住，便說：“您實在是個愛護動物的有心人。”
"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting useat here. Some proprietors object. "
“那倒是真的，”那位仁兄回答說道.‘‘另外我也要感謝你讓我們進來吃晚餐，許多店老闆都拒絕賣東西給我們。”
"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.
“沒有問題啦!”店老闆說。
"As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to give you this lobster. " And the animal lover handedover a live, wriggling crustacean
“爲了向你表示謝意，我送你一隻龍蝦。”說着他便給老闆一隻活蹦亂跳的大龍蝦。
"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. "
“您真好，我太太和我將以它當晚餐。”
"Oh, he's already had dinner. But I am sure he'd love to take in a movie. "
“喔，它已經吃過晚餐了，但我想它會喜歡看場電影。”
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑精選四
Put Yourself in My Place
設身處地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,
某一農場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。
Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。
"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "
“那個茅房什麼問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.
老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進茅坑當中。
"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"
“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的鬍子粘住了!”
"Aggravatin', ain't it?"
“問題嚴重了，是不是呢?”