1.
I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一隻雞 Psychiatrist: What's your problem
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：你哪裏不舒服?
病人：我認爲我是一隻雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的'? 病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。
2.
The Revenge 欺騙的代價
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why " Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在牀邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死後，我想你嫁給農夫瓊斯。” 妻子說：“不，在你死後，我不能嫁給任何人。” 約翰遜：“但我希望你這麼做。” 妻子：“爲什麼?” 約翰遜：“因爲瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”
3.
Goldfish金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold(矇眼睛) them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。 弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們? 斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麼辦? 斯丹：矇住它們的眼睛!
4.
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
兩塊蛋糕
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
5.
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father "
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”