經常講一些笑話，不僅能給自己到來快樂，還能感染他人，這裏小編收集整理了短篇的英語笑話大全帶翻譯，一起來看看吧!
短篇的英語笑話大全帶翻譯一：遇上大麻煩的夜賊Burglar
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.
"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"
To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"
一個夜賊剛進入他準備洗劫的房子，他環顧四周，搜尋可偷的東西。突然，他聽到了一個細小的聲音：“我能看見你，上帝也能看見你。”
非常吃驚地，夜賊環視了一下房間。什麼也沒有，他繼續他的行竊活動。
“我能看見你，上帝也能看見你。”
夜賊又被嚇了一跳，他又環視了一下房間。最終，他發現在窗戶附近的角落裏，有個幾乎被窗簾遮蓋住的籠子，裏面有隻鸚鵡。它又一次說到：“我看見你了，上帝也能看見你。”
“那又怎樣，”夜賊說到，“你只是只鸚鵡而已。”
鸚鵡回答說：“也許，但是，上帝是一隻獵犬。”
短篇的英語笑話大全帶翻譯二：欺騙的代價 The Revenge
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
譯文：
老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在牀邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死後，我想你嫁給農夫瓊斯。”
妻子說：“不，在你死後，我不能嫁給任何人。”
約翰遜：“但我希望你這麼做。”
妻子：“爲什麼?”
約翰遜：“因爲瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”
短篇的英語笑話大全帶翻譯三：The Mean Mans Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼的聚會
一個聲名狼藉的`小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“爲什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空着手來吧?”
短篇的英語笑話大全帶翻譯四：Ways to Report Death
Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."
報喪方式
郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母並養了一隻貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這隻貓。有一次他要外出幾天，臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這隻寵物。出門後的頭一天晚上，他打來電話詢問：“埃德格好嗎?”
“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之後，詹姆斯說：“郝伯特，你真沒心沒肺，你知道我多麼喜歡埃德格----你應該把這個消息慢慢地告訴我。當我問起埃德格今晚怎樣時，你應該說，‘埃德格爬上了屋頂，我已給消防隊打了電話，讓他們把它救下來。’我明天又給你打電話時，你應該說消防隊營救埃德格遇到了困難，但你相信他們會成功。在我第三天給你打電話時，你可以說消防隊員已盡了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來，被送到獸醫那裏。在我最後一次給你打電話詢問，你可以說盡管對埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它還是死了。這是一個富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的消息時所用的方式。哦，趁我沒忘記還有件事順便問一下，”詹姆斯補充道，“母親好嗎?”
“哦……”一陣沉默後郝伯特答道，“她上了屋頂。”