there's only ONE policeman
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麼意思?”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站着兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
"孩子"的複數形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個詞的複數形式是什麼?
湯姆：男人們。
老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的複數形式呢?
湯姆：雙胞胎。
除了音樂
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多瞭解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。爲了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的'時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”
我妹妹的手指頭
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
老師：凱溫，這次你怎麼又遲到了?
凱溫：對不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個手指頭。
老師：怎麼沒有扎繃帶呀?
凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶着釘子的。
新西蘭的氣候
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎麼樣?
馬修：先生，那裏的天氣很冷。
老師：錯了。
馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。
Good news or Bad news?
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."
以爲藝術家在一個畫廊辦了個展覽，他問店主是否有人對他參展的畫感興趣。
“我有一個好消息和一個壞消息。”店主回答。
“先告訴我好消息。”畫家要求道。
“好消息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會在你死後增。我告訴他會的，然後他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”
“那太棒了!”畫家驚歎。“那麼什麼會是壞消息呢?”
店主想了想之後說：“問那個問題的是你的醫生”。