你身邊真正的朋友，跟你美醜沒多大關係，跟你有錢沒錢沒多大關係，下面，小編給大家收集整理了簡短英文小笑話，一起來學學幽默，收集好人緣吧!
簡短英文小笑話(一)
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩隻鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪隻是燕子，哪隻是麻雀嗎?
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的`就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
簡短英文小笑話(二)
He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrotin it! He goes over and asks "Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's yourname?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says "What kind of person names his bird moses?" Theparrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".
他躲到一個角落,想找出是誰在說話。結果看到一隻鸚鵡,於是他問鸚鵡:“是你在說話嗎?”鸚鵡承認了。 小賊說:“你叫什麼名字?”“摩西”。小賊說:“什麼人給鳥取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答:“就是那個給他的羅威那犬取名爲‘耶穌’的那個人啊。”
簡短英文小笑話(三)
A burglar(竊賊) breaks into a house. He sees a CDplayer that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears avoice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around withhis flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?" spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once againhe hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".
摩西和耶穌(雙語)
一個竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個喜歡的CD機,他趕緊拿了。就在這個時候他聽到有人說:“耶穌正在看着你。”他照着手電看來看去,嘀咕着:“到底是什麼人在說話?”這時,他看到桌子上有些錢,他又拿了。那聲音又來了:“耶穌正在看着你。”
簡短英文小笑話(四)
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。
有一個證人有點傾向於在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論。”
“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。
“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他。
“噢，”證人說：“那麼請你回答這個問題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”