一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，並且會深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了爆笑簡短英語笑話，增加幽默細胞，聰明的`你一定會成爲閃光點。
爆笑簡短英語笑話篇一：I thought I had gone deaf 我還以爲我聾了
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
在一個鄉村路上，一警察讓這個農民靠邊停車，說：“先生，你意識到你的妻子在幾公里前從車上掉下去了嗎?”
農民回答說：“感謝上帝，我還以爲我聾了呢!”
爆笑簡短英語笑話篇二：Good Points and Bad Points 優缺點
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。爲了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”
“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。
“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”
爆笑簡短英語笑話篇三：Calming your son 讓你兒子靜下來
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(稱讚，表揚) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
一個人在超市裏推着購物車，一個小孩子在車裏不停的大吵大叫。推車的男人一直溫柔地念叨着：”別激動，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"
站在他旁邊的一位女士對他說道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”
男人看着那位女士說：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。
爆笑簡短英語笑話篇四：Secret For a Long Life 長壽祕訣
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch(門廊) .
I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, she says. What's your secret for a long, happy life?
I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never,ever exercise.
Wow, that's amazing, says the woman. How old are you?
Twenty-six.
一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。
我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，那女士說。你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?
我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。
哦，真神奇，女士說。你高壽?
二十六。