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幽默的英語笑話精選

學識都 人氣:1.11W

笑一笑十年少,有時候正兒八經的說笑話卻覺得不好笑,可是一個很冷的笑話卻能讓自己笑良久,你有這樣的經歷麼?現在,一起來開心爆笑下吧!

幽默的英語笑話精選

幽默的英語笑話精選一:Buy a Parrot

A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

一個傳教士在買鸚鵡。“你確信它不會尖叫,大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。“哦,絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根,它會背誦天主經,當你拉動左面的那根,它會背誦讚美詩”“太棒了!”傳教士說,“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子,會發生什麼呢?”“我會從樹幹上掉下去的,你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

幽默的英語笑話精選二:向肖伯納求婚

Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw. She said she did not mind Bernard Shaw’s old age and ugliness because he was a genius. And if they could combine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man,that would be greatly harmonious. “With your wisdom and my appearance,our children must be perfect.”

英國有位美貌風流的女演員,曾寫信向肖伯納求婚。她說,因爲他是個天才,她不嫌肖伯納年邁醜陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的.天才結合,那該是多麼協調啊。“咱們的後代有你的智慧和我的美貌,那一定是十全十美了。”

Bernard Shaw answered,in a letter,that her imagination was splendid,“But,what if the children take my appearance and your wisdom?”

肖伯納給她回了一封信說,她的想象很是美妙,“可是,假如生下的孩子外貌象我,而智慧又象你,那又該怎麼辦呢?”

幽默的英語笑話精選三:The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可憐的丈夫

“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多麼的難,”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說,“她問我一個問題,然後自己回答了,過後又花半個小時跟我解釋爲什麼我的答案是錯的。”

Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

誰更有禮貌?

一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌,因爲他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認爲他更有風度,因爲無論什麼時候他在車上給別人讓座時,總有兩位女士能坐下。

幽默的英語笑話精選四:Dying Man

最後的坦誠

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"

一個男人在臨死之前向他的妻子傾訴說:“我死之前必須告訴你一些事情的真相。在我們的整個婚姻中,我一直都在欺騙你。在那些我告訴你我會工作到很晚的夜裏,我是和其他女人在一起。而且還不止一個女人。我曾經和很多女人睡過覺。他的妻子平靜地看着他,說道:“你爲什麼沒有想到是我給你下的毒藥呢?”