Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學校回到家裏，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學校裏我因爲一件我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什麼?
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業。
All Except the Music除了音樂
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的`年輕教師想讓她的學生多瞭解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。爲了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”
Cry
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
“湯姆，你弟弟怎麼了?” 媽媽在廚房裏問。“他在哭。”
“沒事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因爲我不給他吃。”
“他已經吃完自己的了麼?”
“是的。”“我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。”
我要做的一切就是付錢!All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My
wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,
and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your
position?"
"I’m the people. All I do is pay."
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交祕書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麼呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”
愚蠢的問題Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數千人經過他的門口，而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現在幾點?”
幾個月後，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了，我要去買一隻大鐘，把它掛在這兒的牆上。”於是他買了一隻鍾，把它掛在了牆上。
“現在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以後，每天仍有許多人停下來，看看鐘，然後問丹:“這鐘準嗎?”
因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune
A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。
最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。
經理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了爲止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”