A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的.，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”
他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”
他什麼都沒聽到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?"
"I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!"
After apologizing, I got her parcel.
"Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages."
"What is it?" I asked.
"My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以爲常了。所以，有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什麼問題嗎?”
“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。
在表示了歉意之後，我把包裹給了她。
“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”
“是什麼好東西?”我問。
“我丈夫的新助聽器”。
A Woman's answer
A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"
"Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."
一位丈夫對他的妻子說：“爲什麼上帝把婦女創造得如此美麗卻又愚蠢呢?” “噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很簡單。上帝使我們如此美麗，男人才會愛我們。上帝使我們如此愚蠢，我們纔會嫁給他們。”
極速恐怖
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
一個老人駕車在高速路上疾馳，這時他的車載電話響了。接通後，電話中傳出他老婆焦急的聲音，“赫爾曼，剛剛新聞說280號公路上有輛車逆行，你要小心啊!”
“該死的，”赫爾曼說，“誰說只有一輛啊!簡直有上百輛!”