在繁忙的學習工作中，適時讀一些幽默笑話，放鬆自己，勞逸結合十分重要。下面是小編整理的幽默的英語笑話短文（精選11篇），希望大家喜歡！
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇1
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。
“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的.差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。
醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇2
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
邁克：媽媽，我想看電視。
媽媽：今晚停電了。
邁克：那我們就點着蠟燭看吧。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇3
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇4
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你爲什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇5
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個幹什麼?”
“因爲我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇6
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her momentum carried her close to my re I could help her,however,she had scrambled ing her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峯期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面衝過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇7
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇8
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the are real US are directly from America."
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇9
n:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
h:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
n:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇10
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。
-- 對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。九十歲了。每當要搬東西，擡東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的幹吧。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇11
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.