下面為本站小編為您收集的英語笑話，希望你開心。
Exchange the Tortoise for the Wolf
Teacher:Some students are becoming you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?
Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.
Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?
Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.
把烏龜換成狼
老師：有些同學開始驕傲了，大家還記得龜兔賽跑的故事嗎。小明，你説説看，兔子為什麼輸給烏龜?
小明：因為它睡覺了。
老師：對極了!我們應該怎麼做才能讓兔子不睡覺呢?
小明：把烏龜換成狼!
搞笑電腦問題大全：能幫我重啟網絡嗎?
Computer help desks are used to fielding oddball requests but sometimes the questions leave even the best of them stumped.
Such as: "Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?"
Or: "Can you reset the Internet for me?"
Then there was the questioner who asked: "Where can I get software to track UFOs?"
Robert Half Technology, a provider of information technology professionals based in Menlo Park, California, asked 1,400 chief information officers from companies across the United States to come up with the most baffling questions their help desks or technical support teams had ever received. Among the more unusual were:
-- "My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the 'any' key?"
-- "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"
-- "My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?"
-- "Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?"
-- "Can you install cable TV on my PC?"
Then there was the computer user who confused the CD-ROM drive with a drink holder and asked: "How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?"
Katherine Spencer Lee, executive director of Robert Half Technology, said such queries were a test of the skills of the help and technical support desks.
"These unusual requests highlight the need for technical support personnel to also demonstrate patience, empathy and a sense of humor," she said.
幫用户解決電腦問題是電腦技術支持的主要職責，但有時用户提的問題甚至把IT精英們都給難倒了。
比如：“為什麼我的無線鼠標沒連在電腦上?”
再如：“能幫我重啟一下網絡嗎?”
還有人會問：“在哪能下載追蹤UFO的軟件?”
總部位於加州門羅園的`“羅伯特1/2”IT諮詢公司日前對美國各地的1400位公司IT主管進行了一項調查，讓他們列出公司的技術諮詢或支持部門所遇到的“最難回答”的問題。其中包括：
“電腦提示：請按任意鍵繼續。這個任意鍵在哪?”
“你能將鍵盤按字母順序重排嗎?”
“我女兒被鎖在浴室了，你能開鎖嗎?”
“能不能幫我查查明年的天氣預報?”
“能幫我在電腦上安裝有線電視嗎?”
還有一位用户將光盤驅動器(CD-ROM)與一種杯架混淆了，問曰：“怎麼把電腦上的咖啡杯架弄出來?”
“羅伯特1/2”IT諮詢公司的執行官凱瑟琳•斯賓塞•李説，這些問題對於技術人員來説的確是個考驗。
她説：“技術人員在解答這些問題時，一定要有耐心，要理解用户，還要有些幽默感。”
Fresh Richer
A fresh richer is purchasing coffin in the store for the death.A person asks him：“Which one is better?”He says：“Of course the zinc1)-filled is more durable2)，but the wooden is helpful to the health.”
新 貴
一個新貴在墓葬品商店選購他死時要用的棺材，有人問他：“最好買哪一種?”他説：“鍍鋅的棺材當然比較耐用，但木製棺材有益於健康。”
NOTE 註釋：
1. zinc n. 鋅 vt. 塗鋅於.
2. durable adj. 持久的, 耐用的
The reds or the greens?
Two apples up in a tree were looking down on the first apple said，“Look at all those people fighting，robbing，rioting --no one seems willing to get along with his fellow day we apples will be the only ones we'll rule the world.”Replied the second apple，“Which of us --the reds or the greens?”
紅的還是綠的?
樹上的兩隻蘋果俯瞰着世界。第一隻蘋果説：“瞧瞧這些人吧，爭鬥、搶劫、騷亂——似乎就沒有人願意與別的人好好相處。總有一天，我們蘋果就會成為世上惟一的倖存者。到那時我們就將統治世界。”第二隻蘋果回答説：“我們中的哪些呢——紅的還是綠的?”