1、I'm Glad 我很高興
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?
Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.
Well done. Who was that?
My granny.
Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.
Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!
一個主日學校的老師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。現在，孩子們，她説：你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?
我，老師，一個小男孩説：昨天我就使別人高興過。
做得好，是誰呢?
我奶奶。
好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。
是這樣的`，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她説：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她説：‘啊，我很高興!’
2、A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”
他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”
3、Birthday 生日
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什麼時候?
孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?
孩子：每年都是。
4、一分一塊錢 A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然後回到講台前等待。
考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上彆着一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫着：“一分一塊錢。”
第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。
5、Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一台錄像機。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽歎息着説。
可第二天當艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬着一台全新的錄像機。
你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘着氣説。
媽媽，這簡單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機給賣了!