愚人英語笑話一：
saleswoman女售貨員
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對象呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地!”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的.祖父就得死了!”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?
Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night。
Teacher: Please tell us something about it。
Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'
愚人英語笑話二：
混合雙打
體育老師：孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?
尼克：見過，老師，經常見。就在昨天夜裏我還見過呢?
老師：你給大家講講當時的情形吧。
尼克：啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說，”家醜不可外揚。“
NOTE
have you ever seen…你見過…
Domestic shame should not be published。家醜不可外揚
愚人英語笑話三：
一位車上的列車員剛發出信號讓火車啓動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂裏另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其餘的事由我負責。”
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
愚人英語笑話四：
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市裏的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開着車，想看看農莊是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裏人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地上，手中抱着一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的
蘋果。城裏人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"
愚人英語笑話五：
誰的父親更強壯
威爾和比爾在爲誰的父親更強壯而爭吵。威爾說：“喏，你知道太平洋嗎?就是我爸爸爲它挖的洞。”
比爾不屑一顧：“噢，那沒什麼。你知道死海嗎?那是我爸爸殺死的。”
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it。”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father'