The Right Leg
Proctor(exceedingly angry):So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair?
Sophomore(meekly):The right leg，sir.
右腿
學監(非常生氣):現在你承認這可憐的新生被扔進這蛙池裏，渾身溼透?那麼你在這不光彩的事情裏扮演了什麼角色呢?
二年級學生(恭順地):右腿，先生。
The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“I see what you mean，”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
詩人的名字
我們的老師正在給我們介紹現在某些學校使用的一種新的記憶訓練系統。
“這個系統是這樣的，”她說。“假定你要記住一個詩人的名字一一例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當作博比·彭斯。“讓你的腦海裏閃現出一個倫敦警察的.形象，燃燒着的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!”
“我明白你的意思，”班上的萬事通說。“但是你怎麼能說那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?”
Ashamed Soldier
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.
One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?
He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.
慚愧的士兵
彼得十八歲那年參了軍，他需要參加幾個月的學習以成爲一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射擊不行。
一天他和夥伴們練習射擊，除了彼得其他人都沒有問題。他射了九次，一次也沒有命中目標。這時，教新兵射擊的教官說：彼得，你看來是沒希望了，不要連最後一發子彈都浪費掉!去那堵牆後面用它向自己打一槍吧。
彼得感到非常慚愧。他走到那堵牆後面。幾分鐘後，教官和新兵們聽到一聲槍響。
上帝!教官叫起來，難道那個笨蛋真的朝自己開槍了?
他急忙跑到那堵牆後面，發現彼得安然無恙。對不起，長官，他說，我還是沒有命中。