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1. What will you break once you say it? (什麼東西一說出來就打破?)
Silence. (沉默)
2. Will liars be honest after they die? (騙子死了之後會誠實嗎?)
No, they won’t. They lie still after they die。
(不會，他們依舊撒謊。Lie still 躺着不動，依舊撒謊。)
3. What always goes up and never goes down? (什麼東西只升不降?)
Your age. (你的年齡)
4. Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun? (男孩爲什麼讓他的狗坐在陽光下?)
He wants to have a hot dog.
(他想要一條熱狗。)
5. Why can a bride hide nothing?(爲什麼新娘子什麼也藏不住?)
Because someone will give her away. (因爲有人會揭發她。Give away 揭發，在婚禮上把新娘交給新郎)
6. Why is the library the highest building?(爲什麼圖書館是最高的建築物?)
It has the most stories. (它的樓層最多。Story 故事，樓層)
7. What is the smallest bridge in the world? (世界上最小的橋樑是什麼?)
The bridge of a nose. (鼻樑)
8. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole? (北極與南極的區別是什麼?)
A whole world. (整個世界。 a world of difference 天壤之別)
9. What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? (淘氣的男孩爲什麼想去鐘錶廠工作?)
They want to make faces. (make face 做鬼臉，做鐘錶面)
10. What bird lifts heavy things? (什麼鳥能舉起重物?)
Crane. (鶴。Crane鶴，舉重機)
11. A ship can contain only fifty persons. Now there is alreadyforty-nine persons in it.
At this time,a pregnant woman comes on andboards the ship. The ?
(有一艘船隻能容納50人，現在已有49人。這時一位孕婦上了船，船就沉了。爲什麼?)
Because is a pigbot. (那是潛水艇。pigbot，潛水艇)
12. What's the poorest bank in the world? (世界的最貧窮的銀行是什麼?)
The river bank。(河岸。)
13. What month do soldiers hate?(軍人憎恨什麼月?)
March。(行軍。)
英語段子
I want a nightmare 想做壞夢
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."
在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”
"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."
“不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。”媽媽答道。
Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
“那麼，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。
How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我這個月已經賺了一塊兩毛五了。
Lucky Mother 幸運的母親
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world.
一位年輕的母親認爲，世界上還有許多受飢餓的.人，浪費食物真不應該。
One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed.
有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。
First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that.
她先給她一片新鮮的黑麪包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。
She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
她還要一些果醬塗在麪包上。
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter,
母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麪包加黃油，
or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
或者麪包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?
A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion.
婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。
On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table
在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，
when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”
A dollar per point一分一塊錢
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然後回到講臺前等待。
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
教授發現一張試卷上彆着一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫着：“一分一塊錢。”
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
在下一堂課，教授把卷子發了下來，這學生拿回了36分的卷子和64美元。